Posted: January 6, 2011 by sneakerporndiaries in Uncategorized

I was going to put something nifty here about the origin of the days of the week, what each day meant etc. But as I researched the information online, it just got darned technical. My assumption is some Roman astronomer was incredibly bored one day.

So what did I do at the gym today?

Well, I can’t say that I “rode” the bike because, well, it’s stationary. It doesn’t stinking move! Yet, I pedaled for a good thirty minutes, averaging 11-15.5 miles per hour (depending on the resistance), burned around 260 calories…I think. It was two hundred and something. You’d think I’d remember that number, but nope. I remembered the miles per hour because I stared at it the entire time. Except for when I had to skip a song on my mp3 player.

Then I touched a button. You know what happens when you touch a button, of which you have absolutely no business touching to begin with? Seriously. It was NUTS! On the face of the bike from top to bottom there is all the fun buttons for the personal television perched on top of the stand at eye level (I don’t touch that). Then there’s the display: calories burned, the current resistance level and the one coming up, the time and speed/distance/rpms. And yes, there’s buttons for everything. The time buttons were clearly marked: time spent/left; add or subtract time. I wanted to see the time spent, it was there to the left by my finger. I ended up hitting the stupid add/subtract time button.

The display changed, prompting me to enter a time. The last number I saw was 27 minutes. I tried to pop that in. The following blinks in big, bright green letters: “Below the minimum time allowed”, then “set for 37 minutes?” blinked after.

I tried punching in thirty minutes. “Below the minimum time allowed….set for 37 minutes?”

Oh. Hell. No.

I’m sitting there, pedaling the entire time, pushing the up arrow, the down arrow, the time remaining button…repeatedly like someone had a gun to my head yelling “CHOOSE!” This went on for a good minute.

“….set for 37 minutes?”

(insert heavy sigh…between gasps of air….here)

Fine. I reset the stupid timer for 37 minutes.

Dude…really….the thing went nuts.

“Starting resistance 4….starting resistance 2….starting resistance 4…starting resistance 2…”

I sped up….then slowed down….then sped up….then slowed down. Just as fast as you’re reading this is as fast as I tried to accomodate for the speed changes.

Then: “Cool down”


It was like a skit out of SNL. Can you SEE Will Farrell? Then you’ve got and amazingly clear vision how my night ended at the gym.

Peace from the “D”.

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