Come Here So I Can Duct Tape You

Posted: April 15, 2011 by sneakerporndiaries in Uncategorized


There is a very large piece of me who would like nothing more than to get this picture onto a t-shirt and mail it to a friend of mine who made a remarkable comment to me this afternoon.

In case you were wondering…my use of the word “remarkable”…completely sarcastic.

This little picture grew out of a question text messaged to me this morning by someone who was considering doing something that cost quite a penny.  To be clear:  they asked me to give them a call and specifically stated they wanted to get my opinion.   I left this person a voice mail just before walking out the door for lunch.

A couple of messages were exchanged and before I offered my input, I was clear:  You won’t like my answer.  After learning why they wanted to spend money on this “thing”, I offered up some suggestions that wouldn’t cost anything and mentioned a couple that would cost a few bucks, including eating a three pound bag of Lifesavers (I actually did that).  I realized those items most likely wouldn’t have been received, I went on:  I said you probably wouldn’t like my answer.  Personally, I don’t think it’s wise, as your friend I’d encourage you to see where else you could put that money to make a difference.  Just a thought.  They wanted to know why they had such a good feeling about it (this thing they wanted to do), and added:  Some peeps go to rehab for stuff.

Yeah.  You know where this went.

I replied:  …like me…

Quoting them:  Yes.  I quit drugs without help.  Cigs are tougher for me.  Wasting $ on elec cigs, patches, etc.  This could be the answer.

Well yank out the freaking celebratory banners.  Yipee ya flipping hoo for you.

In case you forgot…I went to rehab, and screwed that up.  It was clear though:  I had to get help – let alone the fact I made the decision to get the flip out of town and move clear across the country in order to get my head on straight, get right with God, and get moving in the direction I needed to.

Maybe asking my opinion wasn’t the best thing they could have done today – but that rehab crack – pretty crappy, hurtful thing to say.

Side Note:  I prefer a phone call, not a frigging text fest.

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