Running and Embarrassment

Posted: March 1, 2012 by sneakerporndiaries in Uncategorized

I can’t believe I said I was going to do a 10k. I must have been insane! Honestly, that was my thought tonight after doing my C25K program.

After the elliptical I hopped on the treadmill. Well, one doesn’t necessarily “hop” onto a piece of cardio equipment. True story. I see not one single person excited to jump and go on a treadmill, and neither was I. But I made a commitment and for a train full of personal reasons, I have to see it through.

OMG. Running is HARD. First…if you’re a girl you already know where this is going…they’re in the way. Two completely unnecessary lumps in the  middle of my chest pinned down (or so I thought) by a sports bra. Get on a treadmill and bump the speed to 5.0. They swing up and to the left, they swing up and to the right. If they weren’t trapped as they were, I am convinced I would have sported two very black eyes. Second…Traci got back. I do. It’s the slowest disappearing object on my person, and as I ran I was very aware it was there. Plop. Plop. Plop. Thirdly…I have absolutely no coordination. I was all over that treadmill. It was horrible. There’s this gal next to me with a beautiful stride, running herself to nowhere, and there I am…about to fly off the belt…you’re laughing because you can imagine ALL of this, can’t you?

Before my treadmill thrill, I said hi to a lady I see almost every day I’m there. She’s about two inches shorter than me, and severely morbidly obese. She doesn’t move very fast, stairs are a real chore for her. Like me, she has a temperamental knee. At least once a week she half-heartily jokes about quitting. I keep telling her she can’t, she’s making progress, and I added I enjoy seeing her. Last week I shared my story with her because something was telling me to let her know I understood where she was at. Tonight she called me skinny and I wanted to crawl under the stairs and die. It really messes with my head. I’m comfortable talking with her because I totally know what it’s like to be that overweight. I think when we talk I still feel like the almost 400 pound woman.

Now I’m going to try to hit the sack. I have a spin class I signed up for at 5:45a.m. My duffel bag looks like I’m about to take a weekend trip.


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