What is “Normal”?

Posted: June 9, 2013 by By The Numb3rs (BTN LLC) in Daily Prompt, In My Opinion, Inspiration, People, Random Thoughts
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question3Normal is conforming to the standard or the common type; usual (so says the online dictionary).

My life has been filled with less than equitable relationships. My ex-husband and I were two roly-poly’s who fought constantly, “mopped the floor” with each other. He felt superior hurling insults and twisting conversations, I was so completely frustrated I would explode like a cork that few out of a vigorously shaken champagne bottle.  But that was our history. We grew up with a deeply ingrained belief we were inferior, less than worthy in anybody’s eyes. I was desperate to be loved and accepted, he was desperate to prove he was not the disaster of a man his father made him believe him to be. Our behavior reflected what was ingrained into the thread-work of our lives.

My “normal” led to a circle of depressing friendships (like being stuck to flypaper). I had no self-esteem, I had no value. Neither did they. It was our “normal”, commiserating misery. I took a job that paid 60 percent less than I had made in years prior because my weight much of the time was a key factor in my being passed over for a position I was clearly qualified for. I wasn’t stupid, seriously though – who would tell an applicant they’re too fat? So I settled for a low wage, and made a home at a company where two of their senior executives rolled over me with a bark and a growl. The “normal” in this company was to permit harsh treatment of staff through hostility, verbal abuse and discrimination – often in front of coworkers. The “normal” was my supervisor talking me down off the ledge with promises the problems were noted and would be dealt with. For four years he assured me he was supportive of my position and agreed the “normal” wasn’t…well…right.

You can change the “normal”, did you know that? You are in control of the decisions you make, the situations you allow yourself to be seeped in. You can make massive strides implementing personal change, but in order to make a new “normal” – you must put it into action. I did. It was one of the toughest decisions I made this year – stay in a situation which daily tramples my spirit, or not. Early one Monday morning in May I turned in my resignation.

Need a new normal? Make it happen. Right now.


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