I do not get how long distance runners can handle the humidity outdoors. I am all about (insert dramatic air-circle pattern here) AC.

Tonight’s workout consisted of not one, not two, but three (yes…three) treadmills. The first one had touchy/feely issues (kind of like my ex-husband…). I had to poke the icons in just the right places in order to make it to the next screen (rumor has it this could lead one to a new level in Candy Crush Saga…or straight into a bad joke). When the program finally started and the belt began to move, it was slooooooow. I was puzzled because it was set to start at 3.7. I tried to adjust the speed. The display wouldn’t respond. I tried to pause the machine, the display got stuck on pause and wouldn’t resume when I poked it do so. I had to wait for it to time out.

Because I’m incredibly stubborn determined, I went through all that up there a second time. And again the belt moved super slow, set at 3.7. I was totally puzzled. Another minute or two went by and I figured it out:

Kilometers. Seriously. Matchbox cars in the hands of three-year-old boys move faster.

Finally I’m on my way, the machine is going. I walked a quarter mile, bumped the speed and ran a quarter mile. Wash, rinse, repeat. BUT…(you knew it was comin’) – a message popped up on the display with “User cannot be detected, press “OK” to continue”. I’m RUNNING! Try to poke the icon when you’re zippin’ along at five miles an hour. After the third pop up, I moved to the next machine.

There are seven or eight treadmills in the gym I go to (it’s small), and they were all filled. There was a gal to my left, a tall guy on my right (the display worked for HIM) – and we were all into doing our thing when BOOM! Power cuts off. Our three treadmills just abruptly stopped. No slow down. No “Danger Will Robinson! Danger!” signpost/popup. Just. Stopped. Period.

I almost fell off. I don’t know where the little gal to the left went, I suspect she flew off her machine. The guy to my right says, “Your machine stop?” Really?? He had a big white pair of Dr. Dre Beats headphones on and I swear: Princess Lea came to mind.

That led to my third and final treadmill of the evening. 5.0 miles in a little over an hour. On my way out I got onto the Leg Raise Dip thingy and did 25legraisedipknee raises (on the floor they’d be crunches). I was fairly impressed…even if I could only do five at a time with a 30 second suffocation-preventative break in between.


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