How to Deal with the Food Police

Posted: August 17, 2013 by By The Numb3rs (BTN LLC) in Food Police, Strawberries, Suckers, Whipped Cream
Tags: , , , ,

Paul-Blart-paul-blart-mall-cop-33574129-300-206Obamacare has shoved obesity into the spotlight  (by the way, they need to change the bulb as the lighting makes me look horrible!), which has created throngs of Civil Servants who have opted to deem themselves as the SFP (Secret Food Police). You may have already encountered the SFP while out with friends, or have them in your home (gasp!). Wherever you encounter the SFP, one thing is for certain: you’re a target!

Should you be eating that?

I thought you were on a diet?

You’re gonna gain it all back!

Back away from the Oreo! 

Is that on your list of things you can eat?

Oh. Em. Gee! Look how BIG her plate is!!!

Subtlety isn’t one of their finer attributes, so allow me to share a couple of ideas you can have at the ready should the Secret Food Police decide to raid your food plate:

At Work: Have someone who always comments on what you’re about to put in your mouth? Next time you’re in the office, take a can of whipped cream and strawberries with you. Mid-morning, go the SFP nag, lean against the cube (or door frame) & spray whipped cream on a huge strawberry and slowly take a bite out of it. When the SFP nag blankly stares at you, say, “Well…do you have the reports or not??”

With Friends: Next time you and your pals are out and one of them whips out their SFP badge, take one of those huge suckers out of your bag and lick it really slowly – add, “You were saying??”

With Family: Dude…anything you want – do it!

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