No, I am not recounting the Miley fiasco.

IMG_1679Over the weekend I picked up some bike gear. Nothing extreme: a tire pump (not pictured), night lights, and a pair of very cool, very well fitted bicycle gloves (which about made me pass out at the register – piece of advice: never buy anything without a price tag!). The gloves were to replace the gray ones I had. Well, I still have the right one, the left one is MIA. The lights were in anticipation for biking at night, the tire pump – well – duh.

Tonight I had to meet some gals about a mile away. I rode up to the main mile road, hung a right and pedaled to the street light, crossed when it changed and zipped right up to the house number I was looking for. A folliclly challenged man was in the driveway and I asked if I had the right place. “What place?” he replied. “The women’s retreat planning group?” He’s all, “Uum…no. What number were you looking for?” I said his.

I was on the wrong street.

Similar events were repeated several more times until I figured out where the heck I was.

A short time later I made friends with THE biggest dog I have ever pet in my life! Juno, a very small pony large St. Bernard, really loves to be loved. A fact supported about an hour later when Juno madejuno her rounds at the table, and stuck her big head in my lap. This is a very fuzzy photo, but you get the idea.

Of course this was after she shook her head and slobbered my shirt, arm, shorts, leg. She left a long stringy substance behind that caused me to make ugly-look-away-face and resist the urge to toss cookies (well, it would have been coffee). The one of the gals said, “It’s okay! She took it with her.”

On the way home, with my red light flashing behind me (“….Rooooxaaaaane…”), and my road light flashing in front of me, I navigate to my side street – which is really saying something because I can’t see a stinking thing driving a car at night – let alone a bike!

I freaked out some guy who was walking home from CVS. He half ran across the road in front of me, kept looking behind himself and started to run away. I said, “Don’t worry, I won’t hit you!” He said, “I was thinkin’, oh &*7!

Then I promptly wore a spider’s web and ate bug.

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